It's Time To BeReal

I was challenged this week to join BeReal as well as questioned on whether I was being true to myself and others. Was I hiding my story? What would happen if I told my story? How did I come to be where I am today? Read on...

It was December 2011. I was at my parent’s house to celebrate my daughter’s birthday and Christmas with my family when I had a major anxiety attack. I remember thinking, “is this it?” “Is this all there is?”

It had been an emotional year. I had turned 40, my dog had died and my Grandmother had passed.  

I was 40 years old, married with two kids and running a successful management consultancy with my husband. 

To the outside world, I had everything - Nice home, great career, kids in private school and had just been on a recent trip to New York to celebrate my birthday… 

But, I was miserable.

I didn’t know what to do. I felt stuck. Stuck in my marriage due to the business being my only source of income. Stuck in Brisbane as I lived away from family so had nowhere to run to for support. And stuck due to guilt - thinking - “should I just stay until the kids grow up?”. 

So I carried on for a little while. I went to counselling. I tried to make it work.  

Then one day I heard a lady speaking on the radio. She had been through a marriage breakup. She had decided to stay for the kids until they finished school. When she finally left - everyone was angry with her - angry because she hadn’t put herself first. Angry because she’d stayed in a marriage she wasn’t happy in which meant both her and her ex couldn’t move on and maybe find happiness. It was what I needed to hear.

I had to put myself first. What do they say - fill up your cup first. I had to be strong for my kids. And I had to find myself - my true self. Not someone’s wife, not someone’s mum, not someone’s friend. But, just me. Nicole.

Unfortunately what I found was years of emotional and mental abuse had knocked me about. I’d lost my identity and my sense of self-worth. I had never heard the term narcissism until then.  

I’ve met the same person in a different body many times over the last ten years. But each time, I learn something new. I develop. I grow. It hasn’t been an easy journey. What I’ve learnt is that these people have a way of making you doubt yourself. But I now know that my self worth isn’t attached to the behaviour of others. That they aren’t doing anything because of me but due to their own journey.  

Over the years I embarked on a journey of self-discovery. I learnt to value myself. I learnt how to respond not react. I’ve developed personal boundaries.

And I found Nicole. I discovered what I value, who I am, and what my purpose in life is.  

I’d always had an interest in alternative therapies and modalities so it wasn’t much of a stretch to enter into the world of mindfulness. 

I found that learning the various aspects of mindset helped me in my journey and I wanted to learn more so that I could share it with others. I had a mountain of doubts - I didn’t have a psych degree, I didn’t know where to start, no one would relate to my story, and some fear of success!

Part of my journey involved working for a coach and assisting her clients in their journey. I found I was a natural at it and decided it was something I would like to pursue. Enter Mike Dooley and the ‘train the trainer’ in Infinite Possibilities. I developed a mindfulness toolkit of skills to share.  

I learnt how our thoughts, beliefs and emotions shape the experiences we have and the life we live. What I’ve learnt has enabled me to find gratitude and appreciation for my story. I’ve learnt that it doesn’t define me. I’ve learnt that I can have the life I dream of. 

So why am I telling you this? I know every single one of us has some challenges in our lives. The memories and emotions are significant. I want you to live a life of infinite possibilities. To appreciate and find gratitude in your journey so far and find the path to your full potential. I want you to see the good in past experiences and learn how to grow from those stories, not be stuck in the limiting beliefs of the past.

Join me in my coaching program and you’ll get an understanding of how your thoughts, beliefs and emotions shape the experiences you have and the life you live. We will uncover your dreams, identify the baby steps and create a plan to achieve them. 

If any of this resonates and you'd like to know what's possible for you, book a complimentary coffee catch up - https://calendly.com/nicole-bowman-coaching/discovery-call

www.nicolebowman.com.au